Streetwise Professor

August 18, 2015

Vladimir Putin: At Sea in More Ways Than One

Filed under: Energy,Politics,Russia — The Professor @ 7:12 pm

Putin went for a dive in a submersible of the Crimean coast today. He was apparently in search of the Russian economy, and the ruble, but the sub couldn’t quite make it that far down.

As people get older, they tend to repeat the same behavior even after it has become self-parodying: they run out of new ideas and cling to old ones that used to work. This is especially true for people who are at a loss for what to do, because they are presented with insoluble problems.

Vladimir Putin is a perfect illustration of this. Even though his acts of derring do have become the target of world-wide satire, did the submarine thing again. (I thought he would actually go to Kherson, and claim to stumble a cross a relic of Vladimir the Great, but he went with the glass bottom boat again.) Perhaps smarting from previous criticism of his scuba dive in which he claimed to have found a (planted) amphora, today he asserted that the sea bottom was strewn with them.

Putin is at sea in more ways than one. He faces a dire economic situation. His old standby-various energy powerplays-has been undermined by declining demand growth and the development of new supplies. He is in a quagmire in Donbas. He has no idea how to address any of these problems, and indeed, everything he tries seems to turn out badly.

So he goes to the well one more time, and looks even more delusional than usual. It’s the kind of thing that people who are out of ideas do.

It’s also hilarious that the man who bans Dutch cheese and Dutch flowers*, and stymies the investigation of the shutdown of airliner with dozens of Dutch citizens aboard, went on his dive in a Dutch-built vessel.

I guess he didn’t trust a Russian one. Given that it’s August, that’s probably wise.

To round out the comedy, Putin communicated with Medvedev by radio. Poor Dmitry, always the sidekick who never gets to do the fun stuff.

* The Dutch flowers are allegedly infested with California thrips. Dutch flowers and American bugs! Obviously a Nato plot!


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  1. Freaking Socialist State of California, spreading parasites all over the world.

    Comment by aaa — August 18, 2015 @ 8:38 pm

  2. @Professor you must have meant Khersones ( ). Going to Kherson would still entail certain difficulties for this particular Vladimir.

    In totally unrelated news: Russia has started suppressing statistical data on gas production. Mystery inside an enigma as to why that would happen.

    Comment by Ivan — August 19, 2015 @ 4:08 am

  3. Putin’s antics may seem comical from an outsider’s perspective, but Putin isn’t trying to appeal to the outside world. Putin’s aim is to maintain his popularity at home. Putin knows as long as the Russian people still support him, it doesn’t matter in the least what the rest of the world thinks.

    Comment by Charles — August 19, 2015 @ 7:39 am

  4. Putler burns 50 ducklings – Rasha strong, very, very strong, ducklings were beeg, beeg threat to Putler Paradise in the Rasha

    Dead packaged geese have rights in the Rasha (Tatarstan) – watch as the police officer arrests 3 dead packaged geese, reads a big, long hairy list of particulars for about 5 minutes – then Putler’s henchmen bulldoze the dead geese to make sure they are dead

    Rasha strong, very, very strong, Putler makes sure dead geese don’t attack the oily orthodox KGB moozer Rasha, and ruin Putler’s Paradise

    but even dead packaged geese have rights in the Rasha

    what a bunch of sick, sick pukes – Rasha

    Comment by elmer — August 19, 2015 @ 9:21 am

  5. @Charles

    You’re absolutely right. And therefore, even in the worst case scenario of collapsing economy etc., there will always be one last option for the Great leader to maintain his popularity among fellow country men…just stay underwater… 🙂

    Comment by Dixi — August 19, 2015 @ 9:52 am


    Comment by Putin khuylo! — August 19, 2015 @ 10:35 am

  7. I have discovered the reason Putin did this: he was mistranslated the title of Paul Gregory’s Putin in the Dock and so became eager to demonstrate his seaworthiness.

    Comment by Ivan — August 19, 2015 @ 12:20 pm

  8. @Ivan-LOL. Another possible mis-translation: Putin burns the duck.

    The ProfessorComment by The Professor — August 19, 2015 @ 2:47 pm

  9. Now that is some trolling:

    Comment by Ivan — August 21, 2015 @ 1:53 pm

  10. Get this: Dmitry Medvedev (the walking twitter account) has declared that Vostochny Cosmodrome (of Rogozin fame) must become a destination for excursions. You just cannot invent this shit.

    Comment by Ivan — August 22, 2015 @ 7:34 pm

  11. @Ivan-Hilarious.

    Speaking of Dmitri the Small, whereas Putin gets to go to Crimea with all sorts of fanfare in order to troll the west, Medvedev’s consolation prize was to go to the Kuriles to troll the Japanese.

    The ProfessorComment by The Professor — August 22, 2015 @ 7:57 pm

  12. And there is more. The short Dmitry has expressed certain certainty that the ruble will bounce back in uncertain medium term.

    Comment by Ivan — August 23, 2015 @ 3:14 am

  13. I don’t understand. Isn’t Putin the greatest strategic and economic genius of all time? That’s what the great minds of ZeroHedge tell me.

    Comment by FenQing — August 25, 2015 @ 6:26 am

  14. Check out the pictures of the short schizophrenic and his side-kick exercising (
    Your Dmitri the Small’s height is supposedly 5’4″.
    Looking at their side-by-side pictures, Putin is distinctly shorter than Medvedev, possibly by as much as 2″.
    Can Vlad actually be only 5’2″ tall?
    What a persecution complex he must have developed growing up on the mean streets of Leningrad.

    Comment by AndyEss — September 8, 2015 @ 12:24 am

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