Streetwise Professor

Given the dreary news emanating from about everywhere, a little levity is needed. And what better way to enjoy a Friday than to exult in Putin’s embarrassment.

Putin went to a rather flamboyantly decorated room to watch the launch of Russia’s new rocket, the Angara. And he sat and watched. And sat and watched. And sat and watched. And nothing happened.

Due to a technical problem, the launch had to be scrubbed.

Some obviously scared military officials reported the bad news to him. (One hopes they planned ahead and wore their Depends!) Then Putin went off on them, saying something like “Yeah-it didn’t work.” (Echoes of his response to a question about the Kursk: “It sank.” I think the “it didn’t work” line was sarcastic. Sort of “no shit Sherlock. Tell me something I can’t see with my own effing eyes.”) He is obviously furious.

But I’d like to help out Vlad. I think I have found the culprit. Look at the gophers that appear at about the 25 second mark in this video:

Obviously Amerikan agents and saboteurs! After all, if the evil Zionists can train sharks and vultures to carry out their fiendish plots, the Americans could train gophers to carry out theirs. Because remember, according to some Russian officials, American plots were responsible for the crashes of the Sukhoi Superjet and the Phobos-Grunt space probe. The theories advanced in those cases were about as plausible as the Gopher Saboteur theory.

And I have video proof of the destructive power of American gophers!

Just ask Bill Murray about them. I’m sure the FSB is trying to get ahold of him now for advice on how to deal with them.

Even if the theory advanced does not involve rodents, I think it’s only a matter of time before there are dark mutterings about the role of the US in this.

Which will only add to the levity.