Streetwise Professor

December 11, 2019

The FBI Channels Retro Steve Martin Bits

Filed under: Politics — cpirrong @ 3:24 pm

Back in the day, Steve Martin had a bit called “You can be a millionaire and not pay taxes.” The punchline was: “I forgot.” Make a million dollars, don’t pay taxes, and when the IRS calls you on it, say “I forgot.” When accused of armed robbery, say “I forgot armed robbery was a crime.”

Apparently the FBI was channeling 45-year old Steve Martin bits when IG Horowitz questioned them on their numerous omissions of exculpatory evidence and inclusion of false information in their FISA warrant applications:

“We identified at least 17 significant errors or omissions in the Carter Page FISA applications, and many additional errors in the Woods Procedures. While we did not find documentary or testimonial evidence of intentional misconduct on the part of the case agents … we also did not receive satisfactory explanations for the errors or problems we identified. In most instances, the agents and supervisors told us that they either did not know or recall why the information was not shared with the OI (Office of Investigations), that the failure to do so may have been an oversight, that they did not recognize at the time the relevance of the information to the FISA application, or that they did not believe the missing information to be significant. On this last point, we believe that case agents may have improperly substituted their own judgments in place of the judgment of the OI, or in place of the court, to weigh the probative value of the information.”

Altogether now:

IG to FBI official: Why didn’t you include this information?

FBI official: I FORGOT!

IG: You expect us to believe that you forgot all about a surveillance request on an American citizen that allowed you to view the communications of a presidential candidate’s campaign.

FBI official: Yes.

IG: How could you be so unprofessional and unethical?

FBI official:

Ladies and gentlemen, our best and brightest. Patriots all. How dare you question them!

Addendum: Recall (since you, unlike the denizens of the Alzheimers ward which is apparently the FBI) that Douchnozzle in Chief James Comey said “I can’t recall,” “I can’t remember,” or “I don’t know” 245 times by House Investigators about the various matters–including the Page FISA case–which he oversaw.

And you thought Joe Biden was losing it!

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  1. Great bit! I use it a lot. Martin’s lunatic snarkiness is second only to the hierarchy of the FBI . . . well, that’s if you put the democrat leadership in a class all their own.

    Comment by Donald Wolfe — December 12, 2019 @ 11:09 am

  2. Oh Yeah! Speaking of douchenozzles; I wonder where C. Steele got his information? I haven’t seen Clapper & Brennan on the airwaves much lately. I’m pretty sure Comey is not a stand-up guy; (hence the douchenozzle designation). What’s the over/under on him giving up the other two douchenozzles?

    Comment by Donald Wolfe — December 12, 2019 @ 11:17 am

  3. @Donald–Hope springs eternal. A necessary condition for him rolling is that he is indicted, or threatened with indictment. So all eyes should be on Durham and Barr.

    I doubt he is the G. Gordon Liddy type. So yeah, if he can save his oversized ass some years in stir, he’ll sing like Pavarotti.

    Comment by cpirrong — December 12, 2019 @ 12:46 pm

  4. Speaking of criminal ineptitude:

    Comment by Sotos — December 12, 2019 @ 1:27 pm

  5. @Sotos–That ship is cursed. Mainly by being in the Russian navy.

    Comment by cpirrong — December 12, 2019 @ 2:26 pm

  6. The Kuznetsov is the perfect symbol of Russia—a government-funded dumpster fire.

    Comment by The Pilot — December 12, 2019 @ 4:33 pm

  7. Prof.
    I am having a harder and harder time swallowing the”Russian disinformation” line. That Steele got the information from the Russians or, alternatively, the Ukraines. I am no longer sure where or who we first heard that from, but to me it’s beginning to stink of the rest of the “intelligence” agencies. Who was in full cry in support of this “fact”? Douchenozzles Brennan & Clapper, now where are these two? I’m guessing they will stick their turnips up with further made up information pointing to the above-named, then sink back into the swamp.
    Given the above info. re: the “Kuznetsov (comments were hilarious), I’m more certain than ever that the dossier was home-brewed. What an asymmetric victory for Putzin.
    I don’t like conspiracy theories. They make me nervous. However . . . .

    Comment by Donald Wolfe — December 12, 2019 @ 7:26 pm

  8. @Donald–I think it’s like Murder on the Orient Express. Everybody did it. If the Russians and/or Ukrainians were involved, Clapper, Brennan, Comey and perhaps even Obama were willing to suspend disbelief because it suited their political purpose. Or they had reliable Russians/Ukrainians on tap who would pour out what was needed. As I said a while ago, Steele seems to have been a short order cook, whipping up whatever the Three Stooges needed on moment’s notice.

    The Kuznetsov is a source of never-ending hilarity. I’ve been mocking it for going on 11 years!

    Comment by cpirrong — December 13, 2019 @ 12:04 pm

  9. Holman Jenkins has been pursuing the Moby Dick of FBI/CIA incompetence in letting the Russians gaslight our politics for over a year–the still-classified intelligence that induced Comey to violate procedure and go public about the Clinton email investigation.

    Comment by SRP — December 18, 2019 @ 5:47 pm

  10. @SRP–Yes, Holman has been doing a yeoman’s job on this. Alas, it seems like he’s shouting down a well.

    I think he and I are among the few people who have pointed out the extreme weirdness of Comey’s justification for seizing control of the Hillary email investigation.

    To say the man was a loose cannon is an insult to loose cannons.

    Comment by cpirrong — December 23, 2019 @ 3:28 pm

  11. @SRP–A couple of posts in which I called bullshit on Comey’s story regarding the email investigation. From 2.5 years ago. This manure pile has been sitting out there stinking for that long, and hardly anybody has said “boy, something sure smells.”

    Comment by cpirrong — December 23, 2019 @ 4:20 pm

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