Streetwise Professor

July 23, 2021

FBI Delenda Est-But No Cato or Scipio Are In Sight

Filed under: Civil War,Politics — cpirrong @ 6:58 pm

The Babylon Bee, as usual, nails the idiocy and absurdity of the FBI:

This refers, of course, to the FBI’s and DOJ’s weighty pronouncement that one of the 1/6 arrestees was in possession of–wait for it!–an assembled Lego model of the Capitol. Except it wasn’t actually assembled. It was still in the box. But still! Obviously he was planning dastardly deeds with Legos! It’s amazing the Republic survived. Thank God the FBI is there to protect us!

The FBI has of course been going all out to apprehend the trespassers, gapers, gawkers, and other assorted invaders of the Capitol. They announced with pride some weeks back that they had made 535 arrests. (Gee. Why that number?) (And none for sedition. Why is that, if this was a greater threat to “our democracy”–which it ain’t–than the Army of Northern Virginia?)

But of course the FBI had advanced warning. So why didn’t they stop it?

Why do I say that they had advanced warning? Because I guarantee that every remotely open access organization or ad hoc grouping is penetrated by the FBI. FFS, the FBI has surveilled the “Concerned Women of America,” as if it’s the ISIS Women’s Auxiliary. What next? Red state sewing circles?

A necessary–but not sufficient–condition to prevent being infiltrated by the FBI is a classic cell structure. But take-all-comers groups like Proud Boys or Oath Keepers or Concerned Women of America or a bunch of idiots bragging on Twitter will attract FBI agents and/or assets like a dog attracts fleas.

Oh. And not joining any organization won’t help. The FBI is also deeply concerned about “lone wolf” white extremists. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. (I’m sure I’m already damned, so this post won’t make any difference.)

So was the FB I complicit in 1/6, or just incompetent in not stopping it?

One cannot rule out the latter. After all, the FBI had advanced warnings about the Pulse nightclub shooter, the Parkland HS shooter, the Fort Hood shooter, and the San Bernardino shooters. Yet they all blazed away unmolested by our vigilant Federal dicks. (I also wonder about the Las Vegas shooter, whom the FBI cannot even figure out ex post. Or supposedly can’t. Maybe their ex post befuddlement is an attempt to conceal ex ante knowledge.)

Although I do not rule out incompetence, I lean towards complicity. Why? This sick-making statement by the current FBI Douchenozzle*, Christopher Wray:

“Darn tootin'”? Are you effing kidding me? “Golly gee willikers Mr. G-man! I’m sure glad we have you to protect us!” “Aw shucks, Jimmy. Just doin’ my job.”

That performance was so transparently phony that Wray would have earned an F in any community college acting class. But our “elite” eats it up.

And that’s the point, exactly. The FBI operates as the elite’s political police. Not the president’s–as demonstrated by its concerted campaign to get Trump. The elite’s/oligarchy’s/ruling class’/administrative state’s political police.

(The FBI also shanked Nixon, BTW. Cf. Mark Felt.)

What is the FBI good at? Setting up mouth breathers to commit crimes, whom it can then arrest and then claim with great fanfare to have protected us from. If you look at most of the high profile terrorism cases the FBI prosecuted post-911, they were low-IQ losers cajoled by FBI informants (operating, of course, at the direction or at least strong suggestion of FBI agents) into committing crimes.

Most recently, the hair-on-fire claims about the allegedly dastardly plot to assassinate Wretched Gretchen Whitmer, governor of Michigan, appear to be less than a real threat than another prêt-à-porter FBI setup, with 12–12!–FBI informants/provocateurs outnumbering the actual dim bulb alleged conspirators.

But this is just one part of the bill of particulars against the FBI. It has also proved shockingly inept (to give it the benefit of the doubt) or complicit in some horrible crimes.

For example, in addition to the terrorism fails mentioned above, it let serial sex offender Larry Nasser operate with impunity for years. Its response to the revelations by the DOJ IG? Not even a “whoops, my bad.” It had copious information on Jeffrey Epstein whom it also allowed to continue his romps for years. (Given Bill Clinton’s and others’ involvement with Epstein, this may have been part of its political police function.) And just recently, FBI agent David Harris was arrested by Louisiana authorities–n.b. state authorities, not the FBI itself–for a sickening trail of child sexual abuse.

Again, in each case: incompetent, or complicit?

In the Nasser case (and others) an FBI agent lied when being questioned. If you or I lie when the FBI questions us–hard Federal time. They lie? No biggie!

Some on the right have called for the “reform” of the FBI. Spare me your naivete. The FBI is unreformable because of its deep internal rot, and the fact that anyone who would be in a position to “reform” it no doubt quakes in terror at the prospect of FBI blackmail or slanderous leaks. (Cf. MLK.)

No. The only peace we could obtain from the FBI is a Carthaginian one. But there’s no Cato or Scipio in sight.

*Four years ago I referred to James Comey as a douchenozzle, for which I apologized profusely, for having insulted douchenozzles. But “Douchenozzle” is clearly a much more descriptive title than “Director.”

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  1. The FBI itself was born due to mission creep in the Secret Service, whose original remit was merely investigating counterfeiters. Its other functions grew by accretion in the 19th century until TR, weary of unaccountability, created the new agency. Presidential security remained in the Secret Service’s remit, seemingly mostly by accident, but this is probably the only reason Trump is still alive. This seems to point out the logical direction of reform against the FBI’s century of mission creep: Replace the FBI with smaller agencies with limited purview, scatter their leadership among the states, etc. A similar change would be needed at the DOJ, and I have seen a similar proposal to split the NSA into separate agencies, one to develop and standardize cryptography, and another focused on Sig Int on adversaries (the technical need to combine them being obsolete for decades), and so on.

    Of course, a even mere replay of TR’s policy would have the palliative effect of “wash, rinse, repeat.” A few decades from now our descendants will have to do it again, so save them the trouble with a sunset clause: the new agency will have to disbanded in 50 years, lest it become yet another bureaucratic self-licking ice cream cone.

    Comment by M. Rad. — July 23, 2021 @ 10:11 pm

  2. To the classic question “Which or your past political opinions were wrong?” I admit to assuming that the FBI was no more corrupt than the average police force.

    The Left used to object to its corruption; they’re not complaining now.

    The FBI and CIA also seem to have been remarkably incompetent over 9/11. That’s assuming it was mere incompetence.

    Which am I less likely to believe, a statement from the Chinese government or a statement from the FBI? It’s neck and neck.

    Comment by dearieme — July 24, 2021 @ 6:00 am

  3. Where should the suspicion stop? How about the Oklahoma City bombers? I had assumed that they were guilty as charged. How about the Boston bombers? I have my doubts on that one. Heavens, what about the chap who shot Reagan? The chap who shot Robert Kennedy? Where might it stop? Who (if anyone) killed Epstein?

    Comment by dearieme — July 24, 2021 @ 6:07 am

  4. The answer seems so simple. #DefundTheFBI

    There is tremendous zeitgeist on the left for defunding all levels of police. Why can’t the right meet the left @ defunding the FBI?

    Seems extremely reasonable. Easy to believe the FBI is racist AND hates liberty.

    It doesn’t need to be replaced with anything. Just eliminated. It serves no useful purpose.

    Comment by S Amiran — July 24, 2021 @ 8:33 pm

  5. Secret Service for counterfeiters. And now Washington prints tens of trillions every year.

    Must suck to be in jail for copying a couple thousand.

    Comment by Paul C — July 25, 2021 @ 5:19 am

  6. You forgot to mention the child porn server that they ran for more than 6 months that also distributed 10’s of thousands of illegal images of child pornography for which none of the g men was arrested or punished.

    Comment by Ryland P — July 25, 2021 @ 6:54 am

  7. Why 535 arrests?
    ‘Cos Elon ain’t running the FBI.
    If he had, it wud’ve been 420. Plus 69 for sedition. For sure:)

    Comment by Simple Simon — July 25, 2021 @ 10:15 am

  8. @dearieme. Everything is open to question. Everything.

    TWA Flight 800 (almost exactly 25 years ago) is a prime example.

    Comment by cpirrong — July 25, 2021 @ 3:52 pm

  9. @M. Rad. Very interesting observations.

    Yes. It is a Sisyphean labor. But it must be done. At least it would give a generation or so a respite before its successor has to roll the rock up the hill again.

    Comment by cpirrong — July 25, 2021 @ 3:54 pm

  10. @S Amiran. The rationale for expanding the ambit of the FBI was crimes like kidnapping or bank robbery in which the perps crossed state lines. But as bureaucracies are wont to to, its mission metastasized. Overall what we are seeing is symptomatic of the death of federalism.

    Comment by cpirrong — July 25, 2021 @ 3:58 pm

  11. “Australia is particularly sad, and almost inexplicable to me…”

    “Continental Europe–the supposed antithesis of the Anglosphere…”

    These are reflections on your own biases, prof. You’re projecting your own country’s political battle lines across the globe.

    Nobody who has much experience of Australia first hand would associate it with anything but the most nannying of states – experiencing the amount of rules and regulations first hand is shocking – ask anyone who’s dared to fill a pool with water in their back garden for kids to splash around in.

    Too many people seemed to have formed their opinions after seeing Crocodile Dundee decades ago.

    Nor would anyone who spent time living in a number of European states (yes the UK is still part of Europe) would view the English as being particularly wedded to the idea of individual freedom or liberty. For example, practically every urban and sub-urban street corner in the UK has a surveillance camera directly linked to central monitoring centres – and this is quite popular. Anti-gun laws are FAR stricter in the anglosphere than in most European countries. Similarly I’ve found your predisposition to hold Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson in high regard as an anti-elitist compared to the likes of Angela Merkel very odd.

    You need to stop looking at the world through a prism of American politics.

    Comment by derriz — July 31, 2021 @ 7:24 am

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