How Do You Say “Screwed the Pooch” In Ukrainian?
Yesterday morning I was composing a post in my head, to the effect that Zelensky had come to Washington to sign a deal that would give Trump the justification for continuing to provide US funds (and weapons) to Ukraine.
Then yesterday afternoon happened. Get me rewrite!
I won’t give the blow-by-blow. If you are reading this you’ve probably already seen several of those. So I’ll just give some reactions and analysis.
The basic conclusion: it was the most idiotic play I’ve ever seen by a national leader in public. Ever. I mean, screwed the pooch doesn’t even come close to describing it.
One administration person said “Zelensky didn’t read the room.” That’s totally wrong. Zelensky acted like he didn’t even know what fucking room he was in. He was in the American White House, with the American president and vice president, in public.
You don’t talk smack about someone in their house with the world watching. Especially is that someone is notoriously thin-skinned and not that well-disposed to you to begin with. (In fact, the bigger the asshole you consider Trump to be, the dumber Zelensky’s stunt has to look). And especially especially if that thin-skinned host holds your fate in his hands. And you don’t wrangle an invitation under false pretenses, as Zelensky did, by claiming that he was there to sign a deal.
Trump has one overriding objective: to stop the fighting. That’s not enough for Zelensky. He repeatedly emphasized that he wants total victory (meaning return of all territories lost since 2014) and security guarantees including Nato membership and US troops in Ukraine.
These things are not in his opportunity set. Not even within hailing distance of his opportunity set. Hell, you can’t see them with the James Webb telescope from where he is.
Zelensky kept emphasizing that Putin started it, that Putin is evil, etc., etc., etc. Which means absolutely fuck all even if totally true (which I believe it is).
In the real world–which Zelensky does not inhabit–cosmic justice is unattainable. Deals with the devil are frequently the best of bad alternatives. Half loaves are preferable to none.
This is why Trump repeatedly told Zelensky he didn’t have the cards to play. This is a home truth, and one that the administration has expressed repeatedly in private, but which Zelensky refuses to accept.
Zelensky and his European and American enablers remind me of the heads of belligerent governments in WWI. They all–all–believed the other side was evil, and was to blame for the war. As a result, they utterly refused to countenance anything but total victory. Though the rational thing to do once stalemate arrived on the western front in late-1914 would have been to negotiate an agreement that would have satisfied no one, they fought on and on and on.
Due to their obduracy, millions died and nations and empires collapsed. And that process and dying did not end in November 1918 or even in June 1919 at Versailles. It kinda sorta ended (but not completely) in May 1945.
What’s more, Zelensky wants a Versailles-like diktat imposed on Russia, including reparations. (He reacted enthusiastically to a question suggesting that Russia pay for the damage inflicted on Ukraine).
Putting aside the wisdom of such a diktat (didn’t work out well for the Allies post-1919, did it?), only a total victor is in a position to impose one. And there is no universe in which that is happening today.
So Zelensky came to DC under false pretenses to make impossible demands, threw a fit when he was told–at first very politely–that they were impossible, and kept up the fit until he made it necessary for first Vance and then Trump to smack him down. And even then he was rude–interrupting, calling Vance by his initials, rolling his eyes, crossing his arms in highly passive aggressive body language, etc.
Frankly, he got off lucky. Trump and Vance would have been perfectly justified in bitch slapping him silly.
Whatever capital he had had with this administration, he lit on fire. Marco Rubio, not a hot tempered type, was obviously furious and at the end of his rope:
I have never seen the man so amped up, let alone for 18 plus minutes straight.
Even Ukraine’s biggest fanboi is over him:
All of which is why this was the most self-destructive performance by a national leader that I have ever seen or read about in history. The only way to conclude that Zelensky behaved intelligently is to believe that he wants to self-destruct. Because that’s what he did.
Of course the Europeans immediately rallied to console him. “Oh poor boy! Were those brutes mean to you? Mommy is here for you!”
And maybe that’s Zelensky’s problem–he really believes that. Another reality that appears to escape him is that the Europeans are as useless as tits on a bull. (Ditto if he was playing to the US press, which was the biggest loser of the 2024 election).
Actually, they are worse. They feed his delusions.
Those Europeans-Macron and Starmer-who have pledged troops for Ukraine came to DC and made it plain that pledge would vanish without US troops on the ground. Which ain’t happening. I further note that even the European pie crust promises are conditional on a cease fire, which can only be obtained on terms that Zelensky has rejected.
Why are the Europeans so afraid that Trump is pushing for a cease fire that will not result in Russia’s total defeat? Looking at their public statements, it appears that they are afraid that if that does not happen, Putin will invade their welfare states and plant the Russian flag (or maybe the Soviet one!) on the English Channel, the Bay of Biscay, and the North Sea.
I’ve seen bedwetters before, but this takes the prize. If anything, the war in Ukraine should put such fears to rest, not stoke them. At most the war might say something about Putin’s dreams or intentions of conquest. But it clearly shows that his capabilities to pose any threat to Europe are completely lacking.
At best, Russia is able to make advances of a few kilometers here and there over a front of a couple of hundred clicks against an undermanned and under-firepowered foe. Advances on foot, mind you. Russia’s armor has been all but annihilated. Most of the front is inactive and static because the Russians cannot muster enough force to do anything except make very narrow advances.
And let’s not forget. If the Russian invasion of Ukraine has triggered European nightmares of Soviet advances in 1944 and 1945, those advances were completely dependent on American trucks. Russia has no comparable logistic capabilities today.
Even at the beginning of this fiasco, Russian logistics were shambolic due in large part to very basic problems–like shoddy Chinese tires that blew out after minimal use on bad roads. And those were the glory days! Look now–Russians are using civilian cars and vans, including old Ladas, to transport troops and supplies to the front lines. They have even resorted to donkeys.
Note that the Russians cannot even sustain enough combat power to retake the Kursk bulge on Russian territory.
Fears of Russian military might were overstated in 2022. (Even the vaunted Battalion Tactical Groups–which were obliterated in short order–were optimized for defense; which is perhaps why they failed in the offense). Putin fooled the Europeans (and a lot of Americans) with Potemkin military “reforms.” Anyone who harbors such illusions now is beyond help.
Speaking of the Europeans, a European think tank estimated that it would cost ~$250 billion/year to replace America’s contribution to European defense. Thanks for that estimate of the amount by which we have been subsidizing those free riders for the past 8 decades.
The bottom line is this. Continuing the war in Ukraine is not in American interests. Ending the war is. The president of the United States has the responsibility of advancing American interests. By trying to end the war, even under conditions that do not achieve cosmic justice, and allow an evil actor to pocket some gains and live to be evil in the future, Trump is advancing American interests.
But if he succeeds, he is advancing Ukrainian interests too. Perhaps most of all. This war is destroying that nation and its people, and its continuation will only increase the destruction. Zelensky thinks that recovering blasted regions is in his nation’s interest, regardless of the cost. In that way, he is as much an enemy of the Ukrainian people as Putin.